A Stellar Year Read online

  Thank you to my beta readers. Without you, this story wouldn't have been so beautifully crafted.

  How It Started

  The rain sputtering against her window in a soft, rhythmic pattern, only added to the ominous feel of her bedroom. With the lights off and some candles lit, the room glowed yellow, but she could hardly see anything from beneath the thick cover of her duvet. Snuggling deeper into the tear-soaked pillow, she hiccupped a sob and squeezed her eyes shut. She tried to focus on the words of the song playing quietly from her cell phone on the nightstand instead of the ugly thoughts inside her head.

  Suddenly, the bedroom door flew open, letting a bright, white light fill the space. She groaned and shielded her face from the intrusion. Loud footsteps rapidly approached, then the music stopped.

  “Alright, that’s about enough of that.”

  Throwing back the covers, she reached out and snagged the phone from the clutches of her unwanted guest. Giving him an aggravated expression, she shoved him away and pulled the comforter back over her head. Her hungover eyes weren't’ privy to the early morning light.

  “Uhn-uh,” he denied her, grabbing the coverlet and yanking it away. “It’s time to crawl out of your cave.”

  “Piss off,” she snapped at him.

  “Nomi Elaine Phillips, you’d better stop all the sulking right now and get out of this bed.”

  Her older brother, Canaan, was the most annoying, loathsome human in existence. At least right now it felt that way. Right now, she didn’t want him, or anyone, anywhere near her. She wanted to mend her broken heart in peace, at her own pace. Not be bothered by her idiotic sibling and his irritating antics.

  “Go. Away.”

  “Nope,” he said curtly, sitting down on the edge of her mattress.

  Nomi narrowed her heated gaze on him and pushed against his back, but he didn’t budge. He was fifty pounds heavier and most of it was pure muscle. She tried again, but when it still didn’t work, she rolled over with a huff and pulled the blanket under her chin.

  “Come on, Nomi, you have to come out sometime. You’ve been in here long enough.”

  “Says you.”

  “Yeah,” he agreed. “You haven’t showered in days.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because both you and your entire bedroom smell like it.”

  Until then, she hadn’t noticed the foul odor of her room or her armpits. Wrinkling her nose at the pungent smell, Nomi ignored her brother and continued to nestle deeper into the cushions.

  “And you haven’t eaten,” Canaan added.

  “Yes, I have,” Nomi argued, tipping her chin toward a pile of chocolate candy wrappers on the opposite nightstand.

  He looked past her at the garbage and shook his head, then sighed and laid down beside her. Tucking his hands behind his head and crossing his ankles, her brother casually rested next to her on the mattress.

  “He was an asshole anyway. I never liked him.”

  Brian Statler, her now ex-boyfriend, wasn’t the most likable guy, she could admit. However, he had this sort of charisma that made her look past the cocky, jerk exterior and like him, anyway. It was true enough, though, that her brother and the rest of her family didn’t ever come around to his side. From day one, they hadn’t been fans and had never really supported Nomi’s relationship with him, but she didn’t care.

  Her friends didn’t care much for him, either, but at least they tolerated him for Nomi’s sake. Still, she was sure even they were secretly glad the coupling was over. She wouldn’t know because she’d been ignoring their calls since the breakup.

  “You deserve better,” her brother told her warmly.

  Nomi let out a long breath and clamped her teeth down over her lower lip to keep from letting out another sob. Tears were already threatening to spill over her eyelids.

  Despite being a pain most of the time, her brother was still her closest friend and biggest supporter. As much as she wanted to be alone, Nomi was sort of glad he was here, now. He had a way of getting to her like no one else could.

  Rolling to face him, she sniffled. Canaan shifted onto his side and perched an elbow on the pillow, settling a fist under his temple so that he could look down at her.

  “You know it’s true.”

  “I know,” she concurred halfheartedly.

  “Then why are you still crying over him?” he asked, his brow furrowing with concern.

  “I’m not weeping over him. I’m just depressed at the state of my life,” Nomi explained, wiping the trickle of a tear from her cheek. “I choose the wrong guys, work the shittiest jobs, and make the worst decisions. I’m still living at home with my Mom and Dad, for Christ’s sake.”

  “Hey!” he yelped. “I take offense to that!”

  Of course he did, because he still lived there, too. At their age, they should be paying half the rent on a crappy apartment somewhere with a friend, yet here they both were, still hitching a ride with Ma and Pop. Nomi hated that she continued to rely on them, even though she pitched in as much as possible. It was just too difficult in today’s economy for her to move out and be able to support herself. Of course, they reminded her every day that if she had simply finished school, she could be working a good job with good benefits and a 401K. The fact was, though, that Nomi didn’t want that life. She wanted something else.

  Canaan, on the other hand, was just a freeloader. He had no intention of bettering his life or moving out any time soon. He would continue to ride that train as long as he could, until their parents finally got fed up and kicked him to the curb. Which, in their case, wasn’t likely. Their folks actually enjoyed having them around, they just wished better for both of their kids.

  “You know what I mean. I just wish things weren’t so hard,” she whined.

  “I know, but they’ll get easier,” he told her assuringly.

  Then he flipped over and got out of the bed and onto his feet again. Clapping his hands together loudly, he finished, “And it starts with you getting out of this bed.”

  Nomi groaned again and covered her face with both hands. Smacking his hands together repeatedly, her sibling encouraged her, “Come on! Let’s go!”

  She supposed he was right and maybe she had carried on a little too long. It had been three days since Brian had dropped her off at home and literally dumped her at the front door. After he had left, Nomi dragged herself upstairs, peeled off her jacket, and slipped under the covers of her bed. She only emerged to use the bathroom for the last seventy-two hours. She should at least shower and eat a meal of real food. Then she could return to her cave to wallow.

  Actually, probably not.

  Once Canaan managed to get her out of her room, he’d likely get her out of the house and he’d keep her on her toes for a day or two. It was tiring and frustrating when he meddled like that, but Nomi also appreciated it… eventually. Without his assistance, she’d likely continue her self-loathing for another few days and he was right, that simply wouldn't do.

  With that in mind, Nomi lumbered off the mattress and grabbed a robe. Canaan cheered her on and held open the door for her. She shuffled out of the room and down the hall, with her brother close behind. When she reached the bathroom, he stopped her.

  “After,” he suggested. “I made breakfast.”

  “You did?” she cooed.

  Canaan bobbed his head and jogged down the stairs ahead of her. Nomi followed him more slowly and carefully. After all, she was exhausted and her eyes were so swollen from crying that she could hardly see out of them. Descending the steps one at a time, she eventually reached the bottom and muddled toward the kitchen.

  Immediately, the scent of syrup and bacon wafted around her. Nomi took a big whiff and hummed in appreciation. Her stomach was stil
l soupy from the vodka she’d snuck into her room and drank during her hatus.

  Canaan served up a plate of waffles to an empty chair and put an ceramic mug beside the meal. Nomi moved to the barstool at the center island and took a seat just as her brother filled the cup with steaming hot coffee.

  “I officially forgive you for dragging me out of bed,” she said with approval.

  Canaan chuckled and returned to the stovetop. He served up another plate of food and set it on the counter in front of the seat next to her. Digging into her meal, Nomi smiled.

  “You’re going to join me?”

  It was rare that her brother would eat anything so… fatty. He was a fitness buff and was very conscious of his food and drink intake. Waffles, bacon, and coffee weren’t normally his jam. Canaan usually opted for a protein shake or power bar for breakfast, then drank water for most of the remaining day, followed by greens for lunch and typically fish or chicken for dinner.

  “Well, no, I--”

  “Good morning!” Another voice chimed in, interrupting her sibling.

  Nomi’s head snapped around to see Canaan’s best friend jovially entering the room. Owen Blankfield had been in their lives for more than seven years now. He had met Canaan freshman year of high school and they had been practically inseparable ever since. Even though Owen was two years older than her brother, they still managed to stay close throughout school and after. He had become part of the family now and it wasn’t unusual for him to be hanging around, so it wasn’t surprising that he had just let himself into the house and strolled right into the kitchen.

  “Well,” he commented to Nomi, “You look like shit.”

  “Thanks, asshole,” she grumbled.

  Nomi realized that her eyes must be red and smeared with mascara, in addition to her disheveled clothes and messy hair. She was still wearing the same outfit she had been three days ago, a pair of black leggings and a long-sleeved shirt, although she’d since rid herself of the bra. Now, her bare breasts were unshielded, allowing a pair of hard nipples to greet him. Owen’s eyes glanced over her chest, then quickly looked away and Nomi immediately shielded herself with the robe draped over her shoulders.

  She didn’t care if she looked a disaster in front of her brother’s friend, he had seen her looking crappy before, but she definitely minded if he saw her hard nips. Blushing slightly, she returned her attention to her meal as Owen sat down beside her. Canaan again chuckled and handed his pal a cold bottle of water. Apparently, the other plate was for him.

  “So, is she coming with us?” Owen asked.

  “I was hoping so, but I haven’t asked yet.”

  “I’m still here, guys,” Nomi said, waving.

  They spoke as if she’d somehow disappeared from the room. Forking another bite of waffle into her mouth, she waited for an explanation. Canaan leaned over the island, onto his elbows, and clutched his own water bottled tightly in his hands while Owen started in on his breakfast.

  “We’re going to take the cart out today.”

  “In this weather?” she questioned, looking out the window at the sheets of rain coming down.

  “Hell yeah,” Owen answered around a bite of bacon.

  “It’s going to be muddy and fun,” Canaan shrugged. He was grinning like a child and Nomi couldn’t help but snicker at him. Nudging her plate, her sibling offered, “You should come.”

  “I already need a shower,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t want to have to take another one.”

  “Oh, come on, Nomi, it’s going to be great,” Owen coerced her, elbowing her arm with his.

  “You need to get out of this house and do something to clear your mind,” Canaan suggested.

  “Wait… of what? What happened?” Owen asked, passing a look between them. His mouth hung open, his hand hovering in the air with a chunk of waffle hanging precariously off the end of his fork, dripping syrup onto the plate below. Then, as if putting two and two together, he speared his eyes at Nomi.

  “He dumped you? That’s why you look like shit?”

  “Tactful, Owen,” Canaan sighed, wiping his chin with a worried hand.

  “Fuck that!” he argued. Putting down his utensil, he turned toward Nomi. “That guy was a loser. You’re better off without him.”

  “I already told her that.”

  “Nomi,” he demanded. She looked at him. “You are.”

  “Thanks, but that doesn’t mean I’m going mudding with you two.”

  Pushing away her half-eaten meal, Nomi crossed her arms over her now nauseated belly and shunned away from the two men. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Canaan give Owen a strained look and mouth something to him, then his buddy groaned and shoved his own plate aside. He wiped his face with a napkin, then grabbed onto the back of Nomi’s chair and turned it so that she was facing him again.

  He wasn’t as religious about exercise as her brother was, but Owen was just as strong. The muscles in his arm bulged and a nerve ticked with every heartbeat as he gripped the metal rail of her seat. Nomi pierced her blue-green eyes at him and grit her teeth together.

  “You’re coming with us. You’re going to get soaked and covered in mud and like it. You’ll have so much fun you’ll forget all about that jerkwad,” he informed her firmly.

  “You can’t make me,” she bit back.

  “Wanna bet?”

  One fuzzy eyebrow arched upward, bating her. Nomi opened her mouth to argue but found herself silenced by his warning. She did know him well enough to realize that if she tried to test that statement, Nomi would be met by brute force. Owen would likely throw her over his shoulder and walk right out the door with her. He’d toss her in his car and drive her to the fields himself. And Canaan would let him.

  “You’re a bully,” Nomi accused.

  “I’ve been called worse,” he told her. “Now, go get dressed.”

  Nomi sneered at him and slapped his hand away. He smirked with pride and sat back, allowing her to get down from the chair. Canaan was grinning from ear to ear and watching as his little sister gave in to their demands.

  “Something warm!” he said as she strode out of the kitchen.

  Nomi gave her brother the bird as she left the room and headed back up the stairs. Ascending the steps a little quicker this time, she wondered to herself if this might be a good idea, after all. Owen wasn't wrong, a distraction could be good, and maybe doing a little reckless driving was just what she needed.

  ∞∞∞

  The rain had turned into a light drizzle by the time they reached the mostly-open field where they liked to race around. It was a secluded area off the beaten path, where they wouldn't be bothered and could really tear it up. Some kids had made a makeshift BMX track that was barren due to the rain, but the turns were mighty fun in a suped-up go-kart.

  Canaan had put a lot of time and money into building the cart. It wasn't a child's go-kart, it was more like a stripped down ATV, and it was a real treat to drive. Nomi had been out with him a few times to play around on it and she could testify that it was one mean SOB.

  Canaan parked his truck in a flat spot and jumped out to unload the cart. Owen was next out, hopping down to help, leaving Nomi alone in the middle. She stayed behind to relish in the warm cab a while longer. If she tried to assist, she'd only be in the way and tick off her brother and his friend, so she might as well stay put and soak up the heat until they were done.

  She had layered up, wearing a cami under a sweatshirt, under a jacket, and a pair of thick blue jeans. Nomi put on a thick set of socks with boots and covered her mousey brown hair with a knit beanie. She'd also brought gloves, just in case. One couldn't be too sure with that Northern California cold snap. It could get below 20° in this part of the state from time to time, though it usually hovered around 45° during the winter.

  Nomi wasn't a fan of the cold, but she was used to the frigid weather where she lived. That didn't mean she liked it or was in a hurry to go out in it. Once the boys had the go-kart
unloaded, Canaan knocked on the window and motioned her out. She took a deep breath and followed his instruction.

  Owen helped her brother push the ATV to the section they'd be racing in. It was a big field with a sparse spread of grass and weeds. Trees outlined the section and hid the area from public view. They started the engine and the contraption roared to life, causing both men to grin like pleaser Cheshire cats. Nomi rolled her eyes at them, but her lips tickled with a smile.

  Canaan explained that he would take the cart on a few laps to make sure everything was good, then they'd take turns mudding it up. He climbed behind the wheel, buckled in, and took off, leaving Nomi and Owen to watch from their vantage point.

  "You alright?" He asked after a moment.

  "I'll be fine."

  She wasn't sure how much she believed that right now, but boy, she wanted it to be true. It wasn't as if Brian were some great guy who should have been 'the one' or that he was any big loss, really. It was just that he was the latest in a long line of failed relationships and the fourth, just this year. Nomi was starting to wonder if she was the problem, if maybe there was something wrong with her. Or perhaps her life was in such disarray that she simply attracted more problems and bad men. Regardless, it was something Nomi was quite tired of and it was sad to know that this was how things were.

  "I'm sure you will be," Owen agreed.

  "What about you?" She dodged. "How are things with your love life?"

  He scoffed at that. They both knew he didn't have one. Nomi doubted he had ever even been in love. As a matter of fact, she'd never even seen him ga-ga over a woman before. Sure, he lusted after a few, but once he'd had them, that's about where his interest ended.

  "When have you ever known me to have a love life?"

  "Okay, whatever. How was your latest escapade?"

  "Well, I guess it was alright. Nothing memorable, but it's been more than a month now, so…" he let the sentence trail off and gave a lift of his shoulders.

  "A month? That's got to be some sort of record for you," she joked.

  "I've been busy."

  "Right."

  Sure, maybe Owen had been hard at work on a project or hanging out with his pals more, but he was never one to go without sex. He'd always find time to get laid. It seemed unlikely it had really been a month since he's last indulged. Maybe it felt that long, but it probably wasn't.